Writing is a struggle against silence

16 March 2010, Tuesday

'Thoughts fly and words go on foot. Therein lies all the drama of a writer....'

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Writing is a passion that can be done anywhere. All you need is a computer or a laptop (these days, as opposed to pen and paper those days), and if possible, a table and a chair.

You can write on a train journey while you're whizzing over land or sitting in a traffic jam, or while waiting for the LRT train to rumble down - all you need is a hand.

When you're sitting on a bench in the park or you're lazing by the beach, in a cafe, in a plane, or while waiting for the cake to bake!

You can write (in your head) when queuing up in shops, at least a page or two, or while walking you have time to think things through.

But for me, the most productive time for thinking things through and to get ideas is while everyone is deep asleep, and when the night is deathly quiet, when the shadows are cast over my bedroom windows, and when I could hear the leaves rustling and a slight tinkling sound from my wind chimes.

I could easily conjure up ideas and characters in my head, and I would 'pen' them down in my notes feature in my hp, and if I'm up to it, I'd type them right away in my blog. And the best place to do it would be my house, my bedroom is where I like to 'write', with my computer, dictionaries and bookshelves all in sight.

Hot or cold drinks when I want them, books and bed and telephone. There is really nowhere better than the comfort of my own house.

And, I have this little quirk when it comes to writing poetry. I love writing poetries when I'm at the LRT station while waiting for the train to pull in. The ideas for my poetries will flow freely whenever I'm waiting for the train. Somehow, for some strange and queer reason, the trains and the environment at the train station would give me the inspiration to pen down my inner feelings via poetry.

If Tomorrow God Wants Me To Go

5 March 2010, Friday

If tomorrow God wants me to go, and I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say.

I know how much you care for me, and how much I care for you,
and each time that you think of me I know you’ll miss me too;

But when tomorrow God wants me to go, please try to understand,
that my time is up and it's time for me to go,
and that I’d have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I’m not prepared to die so soon.
I had so much to live for and so much yet to do.
it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for a while,
I’d say goodbye and hug you and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realised that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things that I’d miss come tomorrow.
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.

Today my life on earth is past but yours starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last.
and since each day’s the same, there’s no longing for the past.

But you have been so loving, so trusting, so true.

Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn’t do.
And you have been forgiven and now at last you’re free.

So won’t you come and take my hand and share my life with me?

So if tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we’re far apart,
for every time you think of me, please know I’m in your heart.

Kitchen Makeover: Day 40

5 March 2010, Friday
Day 40

After 12 dozens of 1.5 ml mineral water and 20 litres of drinking water, and lots of money spent on food outside (averagely RM50 per day for my family of 5), and after inhaling lots of dust the last 40 days, and with a massively messy house, finally my kitchen makeover would be completed today.

The carpenter is slated to come in today to install the kitchen cabinets and fittings and accessories, and that would mark the final stage of my kitchen makeover which have taken 40 days (with a few days' break for CNY) to complete.

Over the next couple of days, I'll be getting help from a maid agency to supply me with Phillipino maids to assist me with the hugely ardous task of cleaning up my messy house. I'm looking forward to getting back a semblance of normalcy in my housec over the next couple of weeks.

And, hopefully by Monday next week, the garden and porch makeover can begin.

Kitchen Makeover: Day 39

4 March 2010, Thursday
Day 39

As there was only minor work to be done in my kitchen (final job for plaster ceiling - where the piping in the kitchen resides), I took the opportunity to go out as I've been cooped up in the house the last 2 weeks.

I was debating between Bukit Bintang or Masjid Jamek area, and finally settled on Sogo shopping complex as I wanted to buy some kitchen stuff. As I wasn't in a hurry, I took my time scouting around for the things I wanted to buy.

And finally I settled on a wooden knife holder, butter dish, plastic ladles, black trash bin, micro fibial cloth, pretty placemats (2 of each design), and thongs.

I was also looking around for pots and saucepans, and after much advice from the sales personnel, I finally settled on a 8-pc Meyer set which was a steal, given that I got a 60+% discount. I was happy with this purchase as this set can be also be used with an induction cooker.

I was happy to be told that Sogo provides porter service for big items. I wouldn't have been able to carry all those stuff down with my failing spine and aching arm.

All in all it was a productive shopping trip as I managed to buy most of the things I needed, saved for a clock that I've been scouting around the last couple of weeks.

I had wanted a special and unique clock that can sit prettily in my new kitchen. Hope I can find it soon.

Kitchen Makeover: Day 38

3 March 2010, Wednesday
Day 38

Oooo...lala... for the first time in weeks, I'm feeling rather upbeat as my kitchen makover is finally nearing completion.

The plumber came in to complete the piping work. To think all this while, the extremely slow water flow was because of the clogged pipes!! When the plumber showed me the residue that was residing in the taps, I just couldn't believe my eyes!!. I couldn't even put my finger inside the tap as it was blocked as soon as the finger went it.

Now, I'm extremely happy with the strong water pressure that's pouring out of my kitchen taps. The Indonesian workers came in to complete the cementing of my concrete cabinet plus putting the final touches to my arch. And they removed all the shutters from my kittos' room to replace with sliding glass windows.

Hopefully the electrician would come in later part of the afternoon to complete the electrical work.

Now what's left is for the carpenter to come in on Friday to install the kitchen cabinet. And we can start cleaning all the MESS in our house.

And work on my garden and compound makeover can begin, hopefully by this Saturday. I'm waiting for Ah Wai (the contractor) to show us the samples of the Shanghai tiles and pebblewash and also the wall tiles for our garden.

This makeover would not be such a major headache as work would be confined outside of my house.

Triple dread..and quadruple dread.. that's how dreadful I feel today

2 March 2010, Tuesday

I'm still nursing a bad throat and sniffing from flu. It's amazing that my body has withstood all the dust from the kitchen makeover the last 30 over days. I had expected to fall sick sooner as I'm highly susceptible to dust.

And to make matters worse, some of the work in my kitchen/house that was supposed to be completed yesterday are still not done. Anger couldn't begin to describe my feeling. If the workers are rag dolls, I would slam them against the walls. I feel like screaming and throttling them.

Kitchen Makeover: Day 37

2 March 2010, Tuesday
Day 37

Today is yet another day when I realised that my house is still in a HUGE MESS. I was hoping that everything would be completed yesterday, saved for the piping work and installation of my kitchen cabinet.

Alas, it's not meant to be. The door arch looks half done, the inside of the concrete cabinet is not cemented yet, and the door grille still shows a big gap which needs to be fixed. Honestly, I'm getting really exasperated.

The plumber came in today to redo the piping system. And hopefully by Thursday, the carpenter would come in to install the cabinet. I can't wait for everything to be over. I'm really going bonkers. I'm teetering on insanity!!!